views of me

Many people have many views of diffrent people. I wonder what other people think of me. I recently heard from a teacher saying that i mix with the wrong group of friends and that my upbringing is very diffrent from others. I wonder if that is true. Many people say that i changed under then influence of my friends. I wonder is its true. Throughout my primary school life i have always recieved praises for my essays and the teacher always told my mum that i could write very intresting storys. I do not know whether it is true nor am i prasing myself but i had a dream of becoming a writer but it all vanished when i reached secondary school i wonder why is that so. Althought my mum blamed it all on the influfence of friends but i never believed a word it.

You know something? You can become a guardian angel to a certain someone without even realising it and to that certain someone you are someone very special like an angel form heaven. I had a guardian angel in primary school. Althought i spent 5 and a half years trying to reach out to that angel i dont regret it but by the time i realise it, it was time to graduate. I was really upset thinking that i had finally reached my goal but now have to let go of it but the angel simply gave me an encouraging pat on the back saying"dont worry, just because its time to graduate doesn't mean that its the end. Its time to move on and keep going after all we can still keep in contact." After the night of the graduation party, i cried in my sleep thinking that i was hopeless. A useless person and a big loser that could not even keep someone by their side. Then thinking back of what that angel said i told myself that those who could not let go and move on were the real losers.

To me the first few friends that i met in secondary school were like new angels to me. I followed them wherever they went and almost never left their side. They taught me new things, changed my looks, brought me new connections and exposure to a new world.

Now many people are telling me to leave their side. Saying that the new world that they have introduced me to is not good. I felt really lost thinking about it but i today i recieved a comment that really saved me from the depths and tangle of my thoughts. Such a comment "althought you are with them you dont change who you really are" Then i thought, i can be in their world but actually LIVE in mine. and through this i can experince many new things. I want to thank and dedicate this post to this special person. Thank You for your help. (LP)

(: Xena Ong